Resiliently expressing yourself and not giving a f*ck
There remains this need inside of us, wherever we are in life. It’s this fight for self-worth, a need for a climb, a hope to feel powerful inside. There are several ways of achieving it, and we can pretty much define it any way we want.
The truth is, we all have this fight. Maybe not in the same way, but it’s the same. Our actions and habits define us, we write our own identity with the story we tell ourselves in our head. Are we a victim? Are we entitled? Are we cool? Are we successful? Have we failed?
It’s the chaos we ride, finding our identity, exercising our purpose being another, and achieving happiness being the most important one.
We all hold ourselves differently, with usually like-minded people getting magnetized towards us — ambition attracting ambition, bookworms attracting bookworms, curious attracting curious. With over seven billion people worldwide, it’s hard not to find someone as similar and as strange as you.
The modern world has me a bit concerned, even though I use to be part of the problem. I feel like there is this need to show off. To create a facade of success and happiness to make others like you. I don’t know where it originates from, but I know I have been a victim of it in the past. The need to be invested in what others think, this hope to be loved, envied, and looked up to.
One day I decided to ask why? What do I really want?
I desire to fit in, to be confident about who I am. But this confidence, where does it stem from? Does this power belong to others? Can I really control what others think of me? Is it true that impressing others will genuinely make me happy?
When I circled this rabbit hole, I also wondered about all the bad stuff I kept inside; all the insecurities, the sadness, the anger, the hopelessness, the pain, and the stress. All in hopes of creating an image liked by others. Is this being human? The truth is, am I fighting to be my best for me or for others to like me?
I made a recent discovery thanks to therapy and reading. I found out a lot of how my brain is wired I really have little control over. I didn’t choose how I grew up. I believe my parents tried their best to raise me despite the stress, pain, and ego they had to endure. A lot of what I perceived in the world, whether actual or false, good or bad, made an impact in the way I think, act, and subscribe to a lot of my structure. No matter how hard I think about it, and how much I think something is my doing, the way I navigate the world is conditioned in a certain way.
So why try and control who I am and shame the emotions I feel? Yes, I can exercise new values and habits but not without accepting my current flaws. I now believe in self-honesty and self-expression. I highly respect anyone who can express how they feel, whether good or bad, with courage and without shame.
The ability to resiliantly express yourself and not give a f*ck what others think is a highly self-invested trait that allows you to connect with like-minded people, filter the ones who throw shade, and allow you to be the read authentic you.
