Honesty, the most underrated trait
Game of Thrones had an epic last episode of season 7 when I saw it sometime last year (Spoilers Ahead Warning). What really stood out to me was when Jon Snow told the truth about bending the knee to Queen Daenerys even though he knew that would cause some backlash.
“I’m not gonna swear an oath I can’t uphold. Talk about my father if you want, tell me that’s the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won’t help us in this fight.” ~ Jon Snow
In English what Jon is trying to explain is that yes in the short term lying can be beneficial and honesty can hurt. Honesty can even create bad scenarios for yourself, but in the long term when you can be taken at face value, it will help you when the hard times come.
In one of the books, I’ve read ‘the subtle art of not giving a f***’ by Mark Mason (I’ve read it over 10 times, highly recommended read even though it’s so hyped up!) Mark talks about the culture in Russia and how it rubs westernised people the wrong way. They have a way of talking in which they say what they want without any filtration. No white lies, no sugar coating. If someone didn’t like you, they would straight up say they didn’t like you. If you cook for someone and they didn’t enjoy the food, they will let you know the food is shit, no matter how brutal it sounds. This is, how Mark put it due to their past in communism and how they had little to no resources in the past due to war. The only thing they could use as a commodity was their word. When your actions match your words, you will gain trust from someone else very quickly and this during hard times for them created an opportunity to survive. But in the westernised world this is becoming more and more uncommon as the number of resources we have access to is in abundance and we work on more of a materialistic and capitalistic living model in which what we do and what we own defines who we are on the ‘outside’. So this suggests that lying to look useful to someone or to win the bigger piece of the cake would be beneficial as the long-term effect of being dishonest would not really matter (but we never know).
A reality that I learnt and that has helped me is that ‘no one truly has their shit together
In the business world especially this has been pretty hard for me. Being born and raised in a westernised country honesty was not really abundant in schools or the people I dealt with on a day to day basis. After analysing and finding out about it, I have been trying to apply the principle to my life and business. It’s hard at first, being real to others about who you truly are and that your not perfect all the time but a reality that I learnt and that has helped me is that ‘no one truly has their shit together!’ Everybody is really just faking it through life, trying their best to stay on the beaten path and just trying to drive straight. Honesty is something that makes me feel more human, and also made me feel more connected with others. I know in the long term it will actually make me look good, give a great image to my family, help business because the people I work with and clients I deal with will trust me more. Even though I will be honest about not knowing something and making mistakes (which is inevitable, I learnt this when one of my business mentors I worked with made a few mistakes on a project we worked on, even though he’s been in business for over 20 years) honesty I believe is a seed which will return tenfold in the future for me and the people I contribute to.
To finish this off, a German traveller I met during my Thailand travels told me he was a teacher back at home. I asked him if he prefers teaching high school or primary school? He told me primary school, not because it was easier, but because the primary school kids are more honest with him. For example, if he hosts a shit class, then the students won’t hesitate to say the class was boring. If he does something the kids don’t like they will call him out on it. This he found made his self development as a teacher much easier. Ever have one of those friends that point you out on all your bullshit? They probably get you angry every now and then, but you trust them entirely because of this? This is the effect of honesty. It’s a difficult trait in this ambitious world we live in, but one I truly believe will make us feel human again and cultivate a better world.
